Hope I made the right choice...

FINALLY feeling better..and wouldn't you know it I have 2 bottles of barium to drink first thing in the morning..and no COFFEE!!!  Hoping for good results on the cat scan and that I can make it thru without getting sick. What I'm hoping I made the right choice on is getting my hair dyed and cut the other day.  It has been 2 months since I've done anything to it and it was really starting to look "bad".  I truly thought it would of fallen out by now, but maybe having everyone "pray for my hair" is working.  If anything it makes me feel better, so as long as it stays on my head I'll be happy. :-)   Family over for dinner tonight and then a trip down Tillson Street to see all the Halloween decorations.  Going to try and stay up later ( in bed at 9:00 last night and up from 12 to 3 )  Need to get a good nights sleep!!!!!  Peace and Love to all................<3

Not so good..

What an awful past few days!!  Chemo went well and then I had to get my shot for my red blood cells.  I didn't feel quite well after, thou one of the side effects from the shot is " flu like symptoms".  Next day back for hydration and shot for white blood cells. Now I'm really not feeling good.  That night I started throwing up and couldn't stop.  Restless night trying to get some sleep then back to the Dr.s.  They gave me another bag of hydration and then my "new" drug,,a bag of iron.  Beth and I both told the nurse that I was feeling really bad, they gave me a nausea patch and upped my nausea medicine.  Unfortunately I ended getting sick there too.  It's been a long 3 days and hopefully I will start to feel better soon.  I have the week-end to look forward to then my cat scan on monday.

Little Angels

As I went to chemo today, I had the spirit of two little girls in my heart and on my mind.  I mentioned Kate, from the Kids Kicking Cancer party on my previous blog.  A true warrior who so wanted to come to the party that she got out of the hospital that day to make it.  And Audrey.  I've asked for your prayers for Audrey, the young grand-daughter of a high school friend who, like me, cancer has returned.  I received a message from her the other day, something no small child should every have to write, think about or even know the drug names!!!  This was her message she wrote..  "Marcia how is chemo?  What are your medicen?  do you have zofran for you tumy?  Have you broke out in hivs? i have.  Do you have a port. I hope you get well"   SERIOUSLY!!!!!!  These are just 2 small little girls who are going thru something NO ONE, let alone a child should have to go thru.  This past week, these beautiful angels have made me such a better person. Cancer forces you to find your strength and fight.  I believe I have found my strength in these two little girls.  God Bless you both..you are in my prayers

perspective

I've finally come out of my "chemo coma".  Still feeling nauseous, taking drugs every 4 hours and trying not to think about it.  I've got plans for today and hope that I will be able to fulfill them.  In short, a friend is involved with a organization called  "Kids Kicking Cancer". Every year she has a huge Halloween party for the kids at her house.  The kids get to come and have fun and trick or treating on Tillson Street in town, something they aren't a normally able  to do, due to their illness.  Lots of food, pumpkins, playing in leaves etc...  Beth and I went and had a great time.  One little girl stood out , her name is Kate.  She was dressed as Tinkerbell, her wings lighted and twinkling.  She just got out of the hospital the day before so she could come to the party.  I looked at her, bald and cute as can be, with a big smile on her face and it puts it all in perspective for me.  Here I am, almost 53, and feeling sorry for myself, when this child has been thru so much in her short life, way more that I've gone thru. I'm hoping that I can keep Kate's image in my mind when I go for chemo on Wednesday, and put my "big girl pants on" and get this done.    "Faith is not knowing what the future holds...But knowing who holds the future".

What happened???

So I slept the afternoon and night away as usual, getting up just to use the bathroom or get a drink of water.  Feeling awful, but it's expected after all the crap they pumped into me yesterday.  Again, Beth came to take me.  Feeling very nauseous, taking my medicine, but feeling pretty bad.  Decided to go all the way to the back of the infusion lab to sit closer to one of the bathrooms and to be by ourselves, not in the mood to talk today to anyone.  Not sure why, but when the nurse came and hooked up my hydration, I broke down and started to cry and couldn't seem to stop.  I did doze off and on, but the tears were falling every time I opened my eyes.  So much for my "renewed" spirit and positive attitude.  The nurses were all fantastic, coming and giving me hugs and words of encouragement, especially Claire who was one of my nurses when I had the cancer last time.  Nothing was going to make me feel better, I just needed to get out of there and back home to my bed, which is exactly where I went and stayed for another day and 1/2.

Finally a new post!

Sorry I haven't posted much in the past few weeks.  I've been home from Mexico almost a week now and have had every intention on sitting down and writing, but somehow it never got accomplished.  This is the second day I've woke up wide awake at 4:00am, so I'm gong to take advantage and write.   It was a very relaxing vacation, sunshine and warm weather, good friends and food.  Especially enjoyed having Abby there with us.  It's been years since just the three of us have gone on a vacation together, 5 years since Abby has been to Mexico.  Our friends in Playa are all concerned about my health, doing what they can by lighting candles in the church, praying, we had great discussions about the power of prayer, crystals, meditation, massage etc.  I came away with a renewed spirit and a peacefulness that I hoped would hold me over thru these last few treatments.  

 After leaving Mexico with a lay over in Atlanta, we arrived home to Detroit and home around 10:30.  LONG day traveling and I had chemo at 9:00 the next morning.  Beth came to take me, and I have to say being tired helped as I slept thru most of the 3 1/2 hours of treatment.  We managed to go out to lunch, then home to bed.

Still hanging in there............

Hola everyone...
   I haven't posted much on the blog as I'm still in Mexico relaxing and getting re-energized.  As much as I like my Doctor's and nurses at the cancer center, I can't say that I miss them!!!!!  I have another week here in paradise before I have to start back on chemo..in fact the morning after I arrive home I have to be there at 9:00am for 3 hours of chemo.  I have 2 more cycles then on Oct 31st I have to go to the hospital for a cat scan to see what the tumor has been up to.  Hopefully shrinking!!!!  I have an appointment with my oncologist on Nov 2nd to see what is going to happen next....surgery??? more chemo???(hope not but he said good chance "yes" for a few more months.)  Going to enjoy the last few days Abby is here with us and then the rest of our time is planned on getting together with friends...will be home soon....Peace & Love to All.....................

Mexico

Ah... things are still going well for me here in Mexico.  I'm enjoying the sunshine and visiting with our friends, spending time with Abby and just doing "nothing".  Feeling good thou every time I have a "twitch" in my stomach I wonder if something is happening.....So even thou I haven't completely forgotten about my cancer, I have pushed it further back in my head and I don't think about it constantly, which is good.  Lot's of time to worry when I get home!

Peace

I arrived to beautiful warm Mexico on 4 hours of sleep yesterday, but so happy to be here.  The sun has been shining and I've been on the beach soaking it all up.  Even managed a few drinks with some wonderful dinners and enjoyed the early evening  out shopping with Abby.  Making plans with friends and hopefully taking Abby on a few "side trips" to see some of the sites. Supposed to rain everyday, thou that is "normal" for Playa this time of year, alittle shower everyday just makes it more humid!  I'm feeling great, no nausea, only tired in the afternoon, just like at home.  Breakfast with friends in the morning then onto the beach!  Right now I can say,"LIFE IS GOOD"   xoxo to all

Packed

 My bags are all packed and I'm ready to go.  However the alarm is going to be going off at 4:00 am..and I don't think I'll be so ready then!   So looking forward to getting away with Bob and Abby and spending time with them. The anxiety and fears lately have been too much to deal with, I need to clear the demons out of my head and come back with a positive spirit to finish the next 2 cycles of chemo, have the cat scan and hear what the outcome will be.  To all my friends whose shoulders I've been leaning on, Thank-you from the bottom of my heart. I truly appreciate all of you.   xoxo  Marcia

Busy

I've had a very busy, active week-end and have managed to keep up and feel good the whole time!  Saturday I had the little girl, Bella, who I used to watch for a few hours.  We went to Dianne's farm and saw the animals, got pumpkins, had lunch and play time at McDonald's, then baked some cookies...WHEW!!!!!  After a short 1/2 hour nap, my girlfriend from Ohio, Carolyn and her daughter came to visit and we went out to dinner.  Short stop at Sal's and Beth's on the way home , then was ready for bed!                                                                                                          
Up early this morning as Tracey & Craig came by to go to the flea market.  Pretty darn cold out too...41degrees and windy.  After walking around and finding "treasures" we went to breakfast at Pappa's...YUM..then off to the cider mill for...yep..cider and donuts!!!  Throw in a few garage sales and an estate sale and we were pretty much done...except we stopped at the farm to take some pictures and buy a mum.  Later in the afternoon I ran a few last minute errands then came home and packed my suitcase.  After 7 -8 years this is the first time I've taken a smaller suitcase...not many clothes, several bathing suits as all I really plan on doing is enjoying sitting on the beach and relaxing. 

      

Wedding

Since I will be "Doctor-Chemo" free for 3 weeks I'm not sure what I'm going to post!  We did go to a beautiful wedding and reception last night.  I lasted until around 9:00pm!  And managed to drink 1/2 glass of wine that was watered down with some 7-up. :-(   It was nice to get "dressed up" and go out and socialize, but I sure do love my sweats and pj.s. and having friends over to the house.  Also, chemo brain has set in and I'm not sure I was making much sense talking with some friends.  I was in bed by 9:45 and asleep by 9:47...woke up early this morning feeling exhausted and hurting all over.  Damn shoes...  However, today is a new day and I'm going to make the most of it ...going to work thru the pain and keep putting one foot in front of the other as I know it's going to be ok.