Another plan in motion

So I go for my annual appointment at the gynecologist, who I've been a patient of for 30 plus years and trust him completely.  He asked how I was doing with the chemo treatments etc..and I tell him about my plan to see a new Dr. and get a 2nd opinion.  He doesn't personally know this Dr., but told me he had someone he would recommend me to go and see.   He is going to try and get me into see this Dr who I know of and know that he has a very good reputation, but is hard to get an appointment with.  I will know by the end of next week.

Needless to say I'm not sure what exactly I want to do anymore.  I think I should of waited till after the wedding to make a move, that doing it now is just adding more stress to my life that I don't need.  I do think if I can get into the 2nd Dr. I will go as he only deals with women's cancers...not sure what I'll do about the first new Dr.   I've got a few weeks to think it all thru and really need to see what the PET scan says.  At least my life is not boring!  Watching the girls monday morning and working at the funeral home at night,  chemo on tuesday and PET scan on wed.  Full week again....   Enjoy the 4th..can't believe my baby girl will be 27 on the 5th. 
                                                           Peace & Love

2nd Opinion

Ok, so I finally did it, I made an appointment with another oncologist. I was given the name of a Dr. who came highly recommended, but he wasn't taking any new patients. I'm seeing one of his associates.  I could of gotten in next week, but I'm scheduled for chemo and then the PET scan, so didn't want to mess that up.  I will be seeing the "new" Dr. on July 16th.

Now for the interesting part of the story.  I called my oncologist's office to request my medical records so I could have them for the "new" Dr.  I had hoped that I could of just got them, gone to the "new" guy and then made a decision if I was going to go to him or stay with Dr. Fata.  A day later I get a phone call from Dr. Fatas nurse practitioner. She tells me up front that she hates that Dr. Fata is having her call me to find out why I was "leaving". and that I don't have to tell her anything if I don't want.  After hesitating, I decided what the hell and let loose.  Funny thing, she finished my sentences several times, told me she's "heard that before" and listened to me for at least 15 minutes.  She told me that she would pick out the "highlights" of our conversation and relay that to Dr Fata.

Several hours later, as Bob and I are finishing eating dinner and talking about the phone call from the nurse, my phone rings with a number that I don't recognize.  Guess who?????  Yep, Dr. Fata, calling me at 6:15.  Not really sure how to describe the conversation... he said that he was very sorry if he hurt my feelings in any way,that he really cares for me and only wants the best for me.  He said he would send me to have a 3rd opinion if I wanted it.  We agreed to have a meeting in a conference room and that he would answer all of our questions, that he would show us the protocol for how my treatment should go, what we should expect  etc.  I told him that's what I've been asking for all along!!!   Our conversation lasted at least 10 minutes and you would of thought I just broke up with him before going to the prom.  I do know that I got his attention, and I truly think he's sincere with his apologies.

So we have a "meeting" with him on July 12th..... first appointment of the day...9:00am..... .to go over my treatment plan and for him to answer any questions that we have. I'm still going to go to get a 2nd opinion, and will take it from there. 

Needless to say, my head hurts from all of this today.
                                                                             Peace & Love

Frustration & Anger

It's taken me several days since my Dr. appointment to be able to sit down and write without bursting out in tears.  I'm SO frustrated with my Dr and the way he's handling my treatment.  Taking the claritin didn't help at all, I still felt terrible and ended up in bed all day and night.  My appointment to see him was at 1:30..by 2:30 I was in the hallway looking for him or anyone.  One of the nurses asked what I needed and I told her I was tired of waiting an hour for the Dr...next thing he's there in the room and asking me, "how I was feeling".  I was furious and only answered him with yes and no and then he asked if I was scheduled for a PET scan and when it was.  Shouldn't he know since he requested it???  He told me that I was "doing wonderful, look you still have your hair" as if that was supposed to make me feel better!!! He commented that if I had a "good" read on the PET scan he was going to "jump for joy" or better yet,"  he was going to dance"?????  What the hell????  I asked if it was a good read would I be able to discontinue chemo or at least lessen it up and he said, "NO". so I said ," why the hell would I want to dance then?"

Needless to say, I'm at the end of the rope with him and his office practices of making you wait at least an hour, if not longer.  I know I've said it before, but my next visit I'm going to tell him that if he continues to make me wait any longer than 20 minutes, I'm leaving the office.  I'm also looking into another oncologist, I hate to do it right before Abby's wedding and all, but I'm not feeling that he has my best interest at heart.  He refuses to discuss the future with us, I have asked every time what is the "plan" and he say's that everything is going great, you still have your hair, blah blah blah...nothing like in a few months I hope this will happen etc.  I did tell him about the claritin and how it didn't work, his response was try bennadryl instead.  Seriously!!!  It's obvious I'm having some type of reaction to the shot and I think he should be concerned about it, but it's a non issue to him. 

, I've lost sleep the past few nights, cry at anything, been sick to my stomach and feel like I'm "lost at sea".  The highs are really up there and the lows are way too low for my liking.....I'm trying to remain calm and keep it together as I don't need anymore stress , let alone another outbreak of shingles.  I know I've rambled on this time, my emotions are all over the place right now.  And to add to it, we had a terrible rain, wind and hail storm last night and when I went out to work in my gardens I found my beloved hostas beaten down and all but destroyed.  So the peace I find working in the gardens is now gone.  I know they are just plants and am thankful everyone is safe, but it still hurts.

I'm scheduled for chemo on July 2nd and my PET scan on July 3rd....Dr visit not till the following week.  Until then
                                                Peace & Love,
                                                                           Marcia

Damn Nuelasta!

It has been a fast and hectic two weeks since I last had chemo.  Somehow, I managed to get it together to participate in the annual sub garage sale, along with help from Abby, Jennifer and Jessica.  Amazed how much we got rid of and the basement looks great.  Worked a lot in the hosta beds and trying to get the yard looking weed free.  Abby and I went to the mall to register at Macy's for her wedding and found a pair of shoes for me, thou not sure how long I'll be able to wear them.  My feet are used to flip flops and flats, not heels!  Had a wonderful day with her picking out kitchen stuff!  I also came out of "retirement" and am back babysitting one day a week for Isabella and her new baby sister, Alexis.  Nothing beats sitting in a rocking chair with a newborn baby sleeping on your chest...LOVE!!!   Also working on more things for the wedding and shower..getting excited as it's all coming together!

Now if I could just get rid of this cancer, I'd be doing great.  Chemo today went well.  Didn't really fall asleep, just dozed and was awake enough to hear all the conversations going on around me.  The lady next to me was going to be there for 4 hours of chemo today...can you imagine that????  I'm generally there 2 1/2 and that's way too long as far as I'm concerned.   She had a book and music, but was sleeping..or maybe she was like me ...just listening.  One man had lung cancer and lost 40 lbs and could only drink ensure for months and still has trouble eating most foods.  Two others were being treated for some type of leukemia.  What a place!  I do consider myself one of the lucky ones there.   I asked my nurse today about the nuelasta shot and the side effects I was having.  She suggested I take a bennadryl or claritin pill.  She explained to me that the shot gives you  flu like symptoms, aches, fever and not wanting to get out of bed, because it's making white blood cells at a fast rate of speed.  The shot makes my body" think" that it has the flu, so in turn it's producing massive white cells to fight the not there "infection".   So, I'm getting a shot to strengthen my immune system and taking a pill so I don't "feel " sick!!   Hoping that this works as there is nothing else in the world of medicine I can take, well there is another shot, but it's a 10 day series and I've got way better things to do than get shots everyday.  So with a "non-drowsy" claritin pill in me already and the shot scheduled for tomorrow I'm hoping and praying for a good outcome.  I did ask if it was necessary I take the shot and she told me my immune system is compromised by the chemo and if I got an infection I could end up in the hospital...something I also don't have the time for.  Next Dr. visit on Friday....

                                                                 Peace & Love
                                                                                       Marcia