Hot Mess

Yesterday's treatment didn't go as well as past ones.  The day before I had problems with my esophagus and was throwing up. Sleeping thru chemo and 1/2 way woke up with my hands itching like crazy!  Bob went and got the nurses and they said I was having a reaction to the chemo and slowed down the drip and wanted me to take benedryl.   Since I'd already taken several medications for anxiety and sleep, I told them I'd take it when I got home.    Went right to bed and fell asleep for a few hours, then the metallic burn started in my chest.   It's hard to explain, not like heartburn, just a awful taste and extreme pressure in your chest.   The only thing you can do, is to sit up and breathe slowly.  So far no drugs have not been able to help, just a nasty chemo side effect.

Spent most of the night trying to sleep sitting up in the living room in a chair.  Of course now my back is killing me and I feel sluggish and tired.  Hoping today will be able to sleep in bed at least for a few hours.
So getting ready for this to be over.....it will be one year in August that I was re-diagnosed.  The chemo has now begun to really kill off the cancer and the good cells, which leave me feeling this way.  Really starting to notice how forgetful I've become..simple words just escape me and I look to bob, abby or beth to help fill in the blanks.   I know bob also says I'm getting "old" and that happens alot, which is true, but I hate it when I can't remember a simple word!  So we will continue on fighting and hopefully come September when I have my cat scan all will be good and I can get off of this routine and on a much lower dose of maintenance chemo and will feel better.  Having Abby's wedding in the future and planning is helping me alot..something really special to look forward to.  Sorry if it seemed liked I rambled on in this post..just how my mind is working these days.   Peace & Love to All