Still here in Mexico

I guess I did let a lot of time lapse between writing on the post.  I thought I'd wait till I got back from Mexico, but that's another month away and when I return I have a lot of Dr. apts and cat scans scheduled.  So I'll begin with Fiji.  It was a fantastic trip, a once in a lifetime experience. As I mentioned, Dr Fata told me to go and relax and have fun.  Kind of hard when your traveling by airplane (2), bus, boats (2) to get to your destination, but once there all was well and I have a fun, relaxing time.   Onto Mexico.  We were only home less that 24 hours then back in the air.  I had chemo, while Bob packed and did laundry.  Our first week in Mexico we were in a complete haze.  So tired, not sure what time zone we were in, hard to sleep etc.  After about a week, we got used to it.  Spent the days with some friends over on Isla Mujeres  and then Tracey & Craig arrived for their 10 day stay.  Lots of fun with all.  Now, everyone is gone and I'm starting to go into my depression again.  When I have lots of people around me I don't think about the cancer, in fact I can go days and it doesn't even enter my mind.  But when I'm alone, it's like a demon just hanging in my head.  I want to come home..that's a first..to actually go and have treatment!!!  What the Hell...never thought that would come out of my mouth.  I know Dr. Fata told me it would be ok, but I'm terrified that something is going to go wrong and I'm going to be in trouble....If so , we will just have to ramp it up and attack it like no other.  Not looking forward to it and feel bad that it's weighing heavy on our fun.  Hoping the drugs will kick in and help take the edge off.  We are planning on going to Belize next week , friends are having a birthday party for me and thinking that shopping will help!   The weather has been fantastic until this week-end..beautiful blue sky and high's in the 90's.  Today..brrr cold..only in the low 60"s with lots of wind.   Should be better by next week.  Reading lots of books and just taking it easy, per Dr, orders and hope that he was right about me being ok to go. Will have to go to my family Dr. as well when I get home as my blood pressure was way up before I left, and has been the past few months.  Just got a e-mail that a classmate died from a heart attack...that would really piss me off..to go thru all this chemo crap and then have a heart attack!!!  So will add more when I get home the end of the month and have a round of chemo then my cat scan...Praying extra hard that all will be well............
                                                         peace & love